Dating Show

When writer Laura Stassi’s marriage ended after nearly 30 years, she asked friends and relationship experts for advice on navigating the dating scene. On Dating While Gray, she shares the lessons she’s learned and the stories she’s heard from people 50 and older searching, finding and choosing love. Tyrese and Sanaa Lathan are a believable couple, but Sanaa and Regina Hall is a different story! Although, very hard to believe, according to Gary With Da Tea, it might be true. Listen to Gary’s Tea to get the details on their alleged secret relationship!. Text GOSSIP To 71007 To Get The Hottest Tea Daily! Reply Help for Help; STOP GOSSIP to Cancel; STOP to End All. Joey Tribbiani wasn't the only ladies man on NBC's hit series, 'Friends.' As it turned out, Ross Geller also got around. From the women he married to his many, many girlfriends, we take a look at ... Celine Dion and husband Rene Angélil arrive at the 83rd Annual Academy Awards on February 27, 2011. Jason Merritt/Getty Images 'He called me before a show and give me a little message: 'I love ... Lana, Too Hot to Handle’s virtual host, may look like a knockoff lava-lamp Alexa, but she’s the one running the show.She gives the contestants 12 hours to get acquainted, and by the time night ... Controversial UK dating show Naked Attraction will return to New Zealand screens on Friday. Controversial reality show Naked Attraction is set for another airing on TVNZ 2. Our Your Area Matchmaker Team offers Personal Matchmaking to Quality Singles in Your Area. No Blind Dating. No Winking at Strangers.

Forever Alone, Together!

2010.09.15 02:09 noonches Forever Alone, Together!

A subreddit for Forever Alone. lonely depressed sad anxiety
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2008.01.25 04:37 /r/videos

The best place for video content of all kinds. Please read the sidebar below for our rules.
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2008.01.25 04:52 Ask Reddit...

AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions.
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2020.10.30 06:08 kauristaa We fell in love on Reddit and now it’s over...

I have been meaning to post this for weeks, but I couldn’t until now.
We met on Reddit two years ago. He just separated from his wife of 17 years and was about to move across the world. We had an instant connection. What are the chances he was moving to my area in a few months!? I knew one shouldn’t get involved with someone newly separated. I said we should be friends, that I didn’t want to be a rebound. I didn't want to jump in his muddy waters with him. He promised I wasn’t. We were open, vulnerable, didn’t judge each other, had intense chemistry, had much in common, yet differences that were exciting. We loved learning from and about each other. I fell for him through his words. We used to say we were mirrors.
When we met it confirmed what we already knew. Early on he said he wanted to be with me forever. We made a lot of promises to each other. He said he would take care of me and never wanted me to feel taken for granted. I felt the same. We were both all in. It all happened so fast, but it felt so right. The first year plus of our relationship was great. We had issues like all couples do, but none were things we couldn't overcome together. I could make a long list all of his wonderful qualities. He was so kind, loving, smart, interesting, interested, and so much more. Even my dog was more obsessed with him than me. I never felt so loved and accepted. He felt the same.
His ex is is mentally ill (BP1/BPD), is abusive, and cheated. No one can leave that unscathed. His hurt showed. I had my insecurities too. He started complaining about feeling pressure, which continued until the end. When he got upset he would yell, storm off, or sometimes refuse to look at me. I didn't know how to best react in these situations. I did not handle it well. He would complain that I don’t trust him, but it was mostly about him not trusting me, so he would sometimes lie. He didn’t trust that I would understand what was happening in his life and would react in a kind way. Why should he? His ex didn't. I knew he had been through a lot and I tried to be understanding. After all, it made sense. The fights weren’t frequent the first year, so I thought I could handle it.
It was time to meet his family! When he told his ex and children about me before we were due to fly there just after xmas it changed everything. She tore into him for even thinking to bring me! She made it so their children refused to meet me. She insisted they would hate him over this and he believed her. It broke my heart for him and the kids. It seemed he was still afraid of her. I was emotional. We held on tight. He tried hard to mend things, but in the end I didn't go. We promised we would get through this and never let anyone get in the way.
Our relationship was over then, though we didn't realize it and remained together for another nine months after that. Things were never the same again. He was angry at his ex for trying to dictate his life, so when he heard she was on Tinder he decided to get proof to throw in her face...though he matched with other women too. When I caught him he asked for forgiveness/he just wanted to marry me. I know I shouldn't have, but I did. I wondered if he lost respect for me for forgiving him. It got so much more serious after that. We weren’t having fun anymore. He started to become angry or hurt frequently. He took things the most negative way (ways that would never even occur to me) when I meant the opposite. When I tried to explain myself it only made it worse because he didn't believe me. He accused me of gaslighting him. He started having more fears- all things that were not who I am as a person. He exhausted himself with his worries so much he had trouble sleeping. He seemed miserable. I became miserable and worried at the same time. I wished we could just talk to how we used to.
The day I considered walking out, I spoke to his sister. I asked her to be there for him because of his depression, but before I could say anything she immediately asked, “is this about his drinking?” It all poured out of her mouth. She didn’t want to see us break up, but that no one in their family would blame me if I left him. She told me he has always been grumpy, negative, and argumentative. She suggested we take some space to cool off. I agreed. We spent time with his kids this summer and I started to feel like we were going to make it. When his children left, we had a weekend reconnecting just the two of us. We were sooo loving again and he asked me to plan a dream vacation. I felt we were on the path to something new. Our own kintsugi!
I was wrong. Within days he said he didn’t know how to move forward. We hadn’t worked through our problems. He was afraid I would hurt him. He felt so much pressure again. He wanted to be alone to think. What could have happened that he changed his mind so quickly? It became an emotional rollercoaster that I just needed to get off.
In the end he said he wasn’t read to run with me. That he didn’t want to spend his weekends with me and would only be willing casually date and see what happens. That I should move out and back to my city. So we agreed to end it. He would rather be alone in a pandemic...
Since we broke up, I’ve heard from ten men from my past before him! Is there energy that tells people one is about to be single? I was disappointed they weren't him. Now that I’ve moved out I can smell his vape juice on my things. I can’t get it out. I hated he started vaping after we began dating, but ironically, now I would take a vaping boyfriend who treated me well in a heartbeat.
I heard from him today, after 6+ weeks of silence. He was hurt by a recent comment of mine about love bombing and wanted to let me know! I've now been blocked too. When I dreamed of talking to him again someday it wasn't like this. If only be believed me when I mentioned I was love bombed, I didn't mean he did it maliciously. I assumed from reading that post, that it meant they were excited early on and they both take things too fast, but they crashed, not necessarily due to malicious manipulation. I guess I was wrong. I thought it could go either way.
I don’t know why I’m writing this. He was, above all else, my best friend who I spoke to all day long and shared everything with and now he’s gone. I’m upset at the mistakes I've made. I’m seeing a new therapist. He said I need to start caring about myself more. I am working hard on my issues, I've lost weight, got a raise at work, changed my hair, booked a surgery, and have reconnected with people. I learned a lot from him. I learned how to be vulnerable. To not be ashamed of who I am. That I have value and deserve love. I learned I really love Liverpool FC and will continue to be a fan and so much more. He gave me precious memories. Last year we went to Burning Man and had the BEST time! I never told him this, but my favorite part was to experience it through his eyes. I had never seen him so happy and FREE.
He said he is ashamed at how he treated me and hopes to make me proud someday. I hope he does too. I hope I do too.
TL;DR we met on Reddit too soon after his complicated divorce. We didn’t want to let the opportunity pass us by and wonder what if, even though we knew it was bad timing, so we sabotaged instead. Now we will wonder what if anyway...
submitted by kauristaa to CasualConversation [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:56 JimmyBtadley Are my concert tickets garbage?

Sorry to post some whiny crap like this, but I don’t know what to do.
I bought tickets from Viagogo for the Gizz show in Toronto. It was originally scheduled for April, then got pushed back to Oct 27th. Needless to say, the show did not go on, but Viagogo won’t refund me. They claim they received no information about a cancellation or another rescheduling. The best they could offer was to try to sell my tickets, but who’s gonna buy tickets for a show that isn’t happening?
Anyway, the date has passed, and I didn’t get my bucks back. Is another date going to be announced? If I message Stu will he help me? Is anyone else in the same boat as me? Am I totally boned??
Please help me combat evil ticket providers.
submitted by JimmyBtadley to KGATLW [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:55 abegosum [DISC] Completed Suzuka and Wanted to Get My Thoughts Down - Spoilers

I finished Suzuka after a few days of marathoning and have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed it. The story is not without its issues; but, the characters and overall growth are enough to make everything come together into a memorable and relatable experience. Needless to say, this review will be spoiler-laden; but, considering this is one of Seo's first mangas, I suspect many people have already completed the story by now.
Characters
Any good slice-of-life or romance manga lives and dies by the characters, and Suzuka delivers an overall interesting and varied cast with two fairly strong leads.
Yamato
The main character is great, though a bit of a trope at times. Yamato starts as a clumsy bumbler and grows a great deal over the course of his relationship. One of the strengths of the characters in this manga is that the characters grow, but not unreasonably or unbelievably. Clumsiness is established early on as one of Akitsuki's character traits, and, even as his athleticism grows over his high school career, he still has the same absentmindedness and physicality when off the track he started with.
The character gets better, changes, but doesn't become a completely different person, making a very believable arc.
Yamato also starts by being unable to handle relationships because he makes all of his decisions around what would make him look the best. He's unable to communicate his challenges, his feelings, and makes self-centered choices for reasons he believes are selfless. Suzuka's personality eventually drives him to develop his own identity more, and that self-confidence is also reflected in how he handles his relationship with her after reconciliation.
Suzuka
The titular tsundere grows and changes as well, but is handled a bit more clumsily. The author has stated that the story was inspired by the idea of breaking up and getting back together again (and what challenges that dynamic presents to a couple).
Unfortunately, until Suzuka has her "aha!" moment near the second half of the story, her treatment of Yamato is off-putting at best and detestable at worst. To add to the issues with this character, learning about her past (being driven by pressure from her parents to succeed without concern for her wants, her loss of her first love, etc) provides some explanation for her abusiveness. But, this line never feels completely drawn and requires a leap in logic of the reader that feels more like making excuses for the character than understanding her.
Finally, unlike Yamato, the evolution of the character if far too abrupt. When she and Yamato decide to date the second time, the character feels like a different person entirely. The change is so abrupt it breaks believability a bit.
I like Suzuka by the end of the series (and taking the whole picture of the character into view); but, it honestly took some effort and consideration that could have been demonstrated a bit more in the story. Considering this is Seo's earlier work, I expect this is probably more refined in some of his later series.
Honoka
At first, I felt Honoka was your standard, boilerplate romance third wheel. Being desperately in love with Yamato at the beginning of the story and being painfully shy about it is a bit cliched, but she did her job as a mirror for us to see the occasional absurdity of unrequited love. Seeing how uncomfortable Honoka's unreturned love could make Yamato helped to ground the reader on the more negative aspects of Yamato's early obsessions with Suzuka.
Honoka grows from this into the cautionary tale later in the series. As she finds her footing with her modeling career, she outgrows Yamato, leaving him behind as he rediscovers his feelings too late. Other characters say that he couldn't tell her his feelings in time because of how he still felt for Suzuka, but that feels too reductionist. It felt like Yamato was starting to really see what he could potentially build with someone else and needed to learn the hard lesson that the world doesn't wait for him to make up his mind.
Yui
Yui was, unfortunately, a very two dimensional character. Starting out as a means to inject doubt of Yamato's intentions, the story seemed to set her up with a potential arc that seemed promising. Her will to help her father run his restaurant and eventually take it over, despite her lack of cooking prowess, seems to be building to an interesting plot that just peters out. The only aspect of her character that the narrative attends to in the end is unrequited love. After Honoka's plot-line, this felt really stale and uninteresting.
What we're left with is a character who comes back just once near the end of the series to say little more than "hi." How'd that restaurant turn out? Did she ever get over Yamato? What were her other skills, dreams, etc? There are no answers to be found.
Yuuka
Yuuka is another character who is exploited primarily to stir plot progression in the form of problems for Yamato. For most of the story, I found her insufferable and started skimming when she showed up drunkenly with Megumi in tow.
That said, the eventual meeting of the minds between her and Yamato on her own relationship troubles was a touching moment and made me feel for the character, however briefly. She still wears patience thin at times; but, she at least feels more human after that peek into her past.
The Track Team (and Yasunobu)
Most of the track team felt like caricatures through most of the series. Miyamoto is occasionally an exception, as his initial interest in Yamato drives him to try and help Yamato figure out how best to utilize his talents. Miki and Yasunobu, on the other hand, feel like exposition sounding boards and comedic relief. I honestly don't know if I'd notice if they were both replaced halfway through the series.
The Relationship
Suzuka and Yamato's relationship feels a bit painful a lot of the time in the first half of the series. Yamato can't seem to do anything right (and or bumbles his way into inexplicable situations) and Suzuka will never cut him a break. I know that this is part of the message- that getting these relationships right can take work, communication, and even trial and error. But, the reader isn't thrown enough bones to stay invested early on. While the series seems to want me to be saddened by the initial breakup of the two, I just felt like I agreed. Yes, it wasn't working, and yes, I was okay with it ending to see where each of them would go on their own.
All that said, the characters' flaws pulled each other out of their comfort zones and drove the growth we see in the second half of the series. Suzuka is nearly obsessed with accomplishment, having that driven into her by her parents. Yamato is a flake who couldn't find any real direction. Yamato, subsequently, provides Suzuka with an example and license to occasionally be self serving. Without his influence, she may never have even questioned what it is she wanted. Conversely, Suzuka provides Yamato with structure and drive to be his best, and ultimately stokes within him a love for his sport he never knew he had.
The Ending and The Message
Reading other people's views on this series shows that there's a lot of controversy about how it ended. Many are saddened that, given the pregnancy and marriage, the two main characters' dreams are unfulfilled. I find this to be a bit of a narrow view.
I took the ending to be a story of real life, and how to make real life beautiful. Suzuka and Yamato didn't end the story unfulfilled. Life did not turn out as they initially planned it; but, ultimately, when they examined their priorities, they cared more about each other and their future family than the former dreams they left behind. That's a very real, very adult conclusion to a story like this.
I feel like Seo even drives this further home with the climactic fight between Yamato and Arima. Arima's dream centered around his sport and his abilities. He and Yamato would never see eye to eye on this, and both are very valid positions. Their priorities were different because they were different people. In a lot of ways, Yamato was the most important person in Arima's life, because his drive became so much more focused when he had a foil. Losing that to family seemed unthinkable to him, even insulting. Seo is making it clear by the contrast that Yamato and Suzuka, despite their work and drive, value each other above their sports.
I like a story that has a happy ending; but, this story had more beauty than that because the characters learned to find happiness in the situations they had and ask themselves what truly was important.
Conclusion
While the story has some clunky parts, primarily around the semi-painful early relationship between Suzuka and Yamato, I felt very invested. Perhaps it's because Suzuka and Yamato's relationship demonstrates that obligation to others' expectations is important but must be balanced. As someone who has struggled with that idea in the past, it was nice to find how the characters struck that balance in their own lives.
I suspect I'll think a lot about Yamato and Suzuka any time my inner voice says something like, "you really should be this" or "everyone expects that." Ignoring that voice entirely leads to self-serving flippancy. However, only ever following it leads to a life devoid of personal meaning. Suzuka and Yamato's story teaches us to try and find that balance in the middle.
Edits: spelling / grammar
submitted by abegosum to manga [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:49 Ringingking73 Game chat wont work (Xbox)

When i play siege theres no microphone icon for me and everyone else. It doesn’t say that I’m talking even though i am and I’m in game chat and it doesn’t show if my teammates are talking. My privacy is set ti everyone, my controller is up to date, and my nat type is open. Ever since this new game chat thing my GC has been acting weird. Any fixes? Thanks
submitted by Ringingking73 to Rainbow6 [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:44 babygoatmari Annoyed with my brain rn

I was having a good night when I stupid thought popped into my head. I’m not dating this guy but we’ve been best friends w benefits since December. And I love him. A lot. I sit around most days hoping he’ll ask to hang out. I leave my door unlocked at night sometimes hoping he’ll just show up cuz he does sometimes. He’s honestly the best human I’ve ever met. And I know we’re just friends but my jealousy is so insane. I’ve SH because I saw him talking to this girl once. Like I literally went to the bathroom at that moment to do it. And this girl just sticks in my brain. She’s so friggin pretty. And he reassures me that I’m the only person who he’s intimately involved with but as soon as she pops in my head all I can imagine is how much more fun he’s prolly having w her rn since he’s not with me rn. And it hurts my whole body so bad. Like if he were to like talking to her as more than a friend then I’m just suddenly trash and I should just disappear. I try to tell myself we’re just friends. And I try to use radical acceptance. But damn I just want her to disappear or me.
submitted by babygoatmari to BPD [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:41 Skys_the_limit425 19[M4F] Northeast Ohio looking for a nice girl to love and cherish

Girl you know how i feel about you, its like your a fossil samlple, and im an impatient paleontologist, cause i want to date you badly
Bonus points if you know where that line is from
Hello to the lovely people reading this, I'm from North East Ohio looking to find someone to love and spend time with, (female between 18 and 24) I work full time as a maintenance technician and am trying to go back to school for cyber security and computer forensics I'm kind of shy and a pretty awkward person so meeting in person will be kind of awkward the first couple times.
I'm also pretty geeky I like playing video games watching super hero shows, cartoons, and movies, I also enjoy watching anime. I also love camping
I have an average body type and i enjoy doing athletic things like swimming, rock wall climbing, riding motorcycles, and roller skating. I was a captain of my swim team senior year I also played football, wrestled, and did band.
I can be a bit clingy at times so you will probably be my home and lock screen haha, and i enjoy being affectionate so be prepared to get lots of hugs kisses and cuddles. :) Also I'm pretty introverted and a total homebody I'd much rather stay in then go out partying lol
I have brown hair green eyes (they change colors so they can be gray too) im 5' 11" with an average body type i also have a goatee.
Feel free to send me a message and we can see where things go :)
submitted by Skys_the_limit425 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:34 dbozinator custom date range (url params?) in Trading View widget

I'd like to send someone a link to a specific date in the past (and time-range if possible) with minute-bars. For example, showing the minute-bars of 2018-10-04 from 10am-1pm for a specific symbol.
I know you can "take a snapshot" and this generates a short-link to an image. But I'd like the link to go to the interactive trading view page.
submitted by dbozinator to TradingView [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:20 Mokibo96 One of the scariest relationships I was in

This was years ago. I'm a 23 year old male and this was during my second last year of high school in 2014. I am not the most attractive person nor am I some sort of alpha male, but I occasionally get the girl once in awhile. This was a different experience for me, as the girl in this story actually asked me out first, we will call her Sam. She was a couple years younger than me and while that should have red flags rearing, I didn't pay much attention to them. She was a skinny, blonde girl who was your typical preppy or cheerleader and I was your cynical average guy. We hung out a lot before we started dating and I always noticed how she was staring at me throughout everyone in our friend group. I didn't really notice until we met eyes and she smiled at me, in which she admitted she liked me. It started out as a good relationship even with the bit of an age gap, with your cliche high school romance and the only downside was I didn't have a car so we couldn't really go on dates much.
One thing that I found uneasy was that her parents were divorced but she often saw her biological dad more than her mother, we'll call this man Steve. Now Steve was in his early 40s and he is an ex convict which will be relevant later. He and I kinda got along but he also had a temper that sparked so quickly that I had to walk on egg shells every time we spoke together. Sam's mother was always a landmine waiting to go off at the simplest of things and had a bit of a Karen vibe to her, so we will call her that. Karen pretty much didn't want anything to do with Sam and Sam's step father always obeyed Karen's commands which I found pretty disturbing. Throughout the relationship, Sam would blow up my Facebook notifications to the point where it was just nothing but her, leaving me no breathing room for anything.
If I posted anything that she didn't like, I got lectured for it. We usually hung out with other couples we had in the group and it was a sweet thing, but good things never last, right? Fast forward a few weeks and I went to her place to hang out. I wanted to take pictures of us together for memories and when I tried, she always looked away or covered her face and she didn't tell me why at the time. Turns out, she had been assaulted by another guy in the school and didn't want to tell me in fear of my reaction, which played out like you think it would. I wanted to kill this guy for what he did but he claimed innocence for it. The strange thing is that when he got fed up and explained his side of the story, he said that there was no assault and he didn't even go to her place at all.
Now me being stubborn, I didn't believe this at first and walked away. Steve always talked to me on Facebook asking about Sam and I always replied with she's fine, just to not set off his temper. Me, Sam and Steve were all gamers as well so occasionally, we played Call Of Duty together and it was fun, but like I said, this was occasional. The relationship seemed to slowly become tedious because I felt like I didn't have much of a free will and it was like if I made Sam upset for any reason, Steve would come running to murder me.
I wanted to talk to Sam about how this relationship was probably not going to last due to the stress it has been on me and I can tell she's been stressed as well and so I messaged her on Facebook to discuss it all. She was of course upset about this but also understood, but the strange thing is that she then admitted that the assault was fake and she wanted to test my emotions and this really depressed me. Sam knew how much we were drifting apart but wanted to try and bring it back to when we were both happy. One of Sam's friends was your typical gossip girl who would tell her everything whether it was real or not. This was when I really wanted it all to end because from what I have gathered, her friend was spreading rumours that I was cheating on Sam using "evidence" even though it was far from the truth. But knowing Sam, she believed her friend over me and it came to a head when I was in class, hood up and depressed and she comes storming in, disturbing the class to come and accuse me of what she was told.
I of course was confused by all this and I asked if she can show me the evidence of this and she didn't, which means her friend made it all up to split us apart for an unknown reason. This of course reaches Steve and during an event at school which had all the kids outside, me and Sam even after all that has happened, were cuddling in a hallway. Steve then arrives at the school, comes up to the floor we were on and starts screaming at us both and threatened to kill me if I went near Sam again. He grabbed Sam by the arm and started walking away, in which Sam shoved Steve into the lockers because she wanted to try and recover a broken relationship. I was also upset because I wanted to make it all work even with all that has transpired. I didn't talk to Sam for awhile and I hung out with other friends to reconcile for my mental health. This is going to sound disturbing but I used to self harm and this brought back that bad habit and I saw Sam did the same thing from all the damages we've faced. Self harm is never the answer and I wish I could've thought differently.
Sam sees me hanging with other friends, comes storming up at me screaming about my cuts and says I was copying her, I replied with "I didn't copy you, I was under intense mental stress and couldn't turn anywhere". She calls it bullshit and walks away in anger, to which I started to cry. We officially broke off the relationship in April when we began dating on Valentine's Day (ironic, right?). Throughout the month, it quickly went from a happy relationship to a downfall with both parties suffering, but we are not done yet. Me and Sam occasionally got mildly sexual together when we were alone but nothing like full on intercourse, so when it all ended, she wanted to try and sting me with a false accusation of rape. I was told that Karen wanted to place false charges on me because she didn't like me and Sam wanted to see me in more pain. The mental abuse I endured after the relationship was traumatizing, so much so that I believe it was when I truly felt my depression.
With her constantly coming up to me to give me hell and such, something had to be done and she told Steve that I was the one harassing her which was false. He came up to my door and he told my parents about the harassment and I should stay away from Sam meanwhile I saw it all from a corner where he couldn't see me. After he was done, my parents already knew that he was not a good guy and that this all is false even to them.
Afterwards, a cop came to my door because Steve had called the police to try and straighten me out. The cop explained to me about how he had visited their place before ours and that he wasn't going to charge me with anything since from what he witnessed, he was not going to take their side at all. He explained that when he entered their place, Steve was in the middle of yelling at Sam and when he tried to calm Steve down and try to stop the yelling, Steve then insulted the cop and told him to not tell him how to parent his kids, which was the straw that broke the camel's back for the officer. He told me that Steve acted like a complete manchild and that if I needed any help regarding him or Sam, I can call him personally and he gave me his card, which filled me with joy. I told him about the false charges that Karen was trying to set up and he told me not to worry about it and that it never went through and she was ignored. So to sum this all up, don't expect your high school relationship to last post high school, and spot red flags early if you can.
submitted by Mokibo96 to LetsReadOfficial [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:18 inmateconvict Addiction led my brother here ...

16 months in prison, but for the first year, I hadn’t yet comprehended the actual reality. I suppose I really didn’t – or couldn’t – notice how much things inexorably changed without me until a year had passed. People move on. You can’t remember what your friends look like. They talk to you distantly on the phone. Your girlfriend becomes a friend, friends become strangers. I haven’t talked to my brother Neil in over a year. I should reach out, I know. I’m in prison; of course I’m the one that fucked up.
I wasn’t always like this. My 15 year old self would be awed, amused, yet disappointed if he knew this would be his future; the 17 year old me would be horrified; and my 20 year old self would be like, “What the fuck happened?!”
I’m scheduled to go home in November, but I’m fighting another case. The prosecutors are trying to nail me with 17 years, because an acquaintance overdosed. They allege I gave him the drugs. I didn’t.
Its surreal to watch my life bargained away, lawyers treating years like poker chips for something that, even if everything they allege was true, I had no control over what unfolded. The ensuing events were as impersonal as a card game, and almost entirely the result of the victim’s own choices. So, now I find myself in a special kind of hell: prison without an out date.
The other day I complained melodramatically to my mom that my fate is a modern day retelling of the Book of Job, of which she took exception, saying, in so many words, that I’m not saintly like Job. That’s certainly true, but I can understand – on every level – the feeling of utter helplessness in the face of fate’s cruel machinations. That’s a book in the bible I can feel, that resonates deeply.
My bunkie studies the bible everyday. He’s not exactly “Christian” but makes a big deal about the real name of God, which he believes to be Yah and Yashua. He regularly delivers impromptu sermons to no one in particular, feeling like he’s a hand-picked disciple of “Yah”. It’s really fucking annoying. Fucking A, how can you be so fixated on one book when there are so many other good ones? He also farts a lot, loud, stinky, and shameless, as potent as smelling salts. I need to change units.
My TV was stolen by the Bloods, so my days are stretching out infinitely longer. I’m trying to fill up the rest of the day after lifting weights and running in the morning, so I don’t waste all my time dwelling on getting high off dabs or pieces (1/8 of a strip). I really don’t do it, but if you put the latter in a ChapStick cap filled with water, let it dissolve, and then snort the ensuing solution, you can catch a decent buzz – more like a medicate numbness than an illicit high.
A dab is performed with a thumbtack (to apply the wax) and a rigged wire for charging tablets that incorporates a little piece of steel stolen from the scrubbing pads in the kitchen dish room which heats up as electricity runs thru it. Despite the higher than average idiocy of the average inmate, I’ve encountered other impressive feats of ingenuity: tattoo guns, repairing TVs with self-made tools, smuggling in cellphones.
Since my life is effectively on hiatus (I’m physically absent in everyone else’s), the people that are still a part of mine have grown in importance. They make me feel a little less alone whenever I get to speak to them. But its tough to watch their lives progress without me, which is egotistical but true. We’ll never make new memories together for as long as I’m locked up.
I’m frankly embarrassed about how I acted towards Kasey. I really loved her, but didn’t show it enough when it actually mattered, and now she’s moved on and it sucks. Sometimes I get the impulse to call her before I stop and remind myself, “she doesn’t wanna talk to you, you’re some fuckin weirdo in prison.” I try to imagine her as I left her on that balmy May afternoon instead of getting dicked down by some lame dude who I’m suddenly jealous of. To cope, now I fantasize about girls I wanna fuck- and could, realistically – once I’m out of prison. I’m jerking off to hope.
Without social media, my world feels pretty microscopic compared to what it was before. I’ve had multiple bunkies, a couple of TVs, a handful of workout partners, and a fistful of fights. I’ve formulated a decent routine to follow. The day-to-day monotony actually makes the time go by faster, paradoxically. Life goes on…
Everyday I wake up, realize where I’m at, and become instantly depressed as it dawns on me: this is my life. I always try to return to sleep so as to resume dreaming, but I rarely succeed. As anyone who’s ever been locked up can attest, there’s no transition quite so jarring and depressing as the segue from a deep slumber dreaming of familiar faces and places (regardless of what’s happening) to awakening on an uncomfortable prison bunk. Dreaming truly is the opiate of the imprisoned.
I’ve always wanted to write a book or something like it. Only now I’m actually making an effort. Writing is one of the few activities that allows me to transcend my surroundings, forgetting that my life has been circumscribed down to the few experiences available on this small compound, encircled by two 15-foot barbed wire fences.
Writing reminds me that I once had had fun with friends, had fallen in love, had my fair share of triumphs before I became prisoner #511007, deemed unfit for society, possibly for more than a decade, for doing what almost every individual in the same situation would do.
After some deep introspection, my previous life seems almost foreign to me at times. I’m living with everyone else’s demons in this place as well as my own, so I reflexively assume the worst of everyone. I often fail to limit this suspicion to other inmates, and extend it to my family and friends. I’m officially institutionalized.
www.easy-trouble.com
submitted by inmateconvict to addiction [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:16 Emgz0632 Need help trying to remember a movie (Suspense/Horror) 2001-2002ish

So I have been trying to look for this suspense horror movie that came out in 2001-2002ish. I vaguely remember it but it was about a guy who receives a package with a cassette tape, when he tries to listens to it on his stereo he cannot hear anything, strange things started to happen to him after that incident. One day when he went home, his neighbor (elderly lady) yelled at him to stop playing his stereo so loud, it was driving her nuts, he looks at her weird because the tape he was playing did not have any sound coming out. He attempts to listen to the cassette on his stereo each day with volume to the max but still no sound. One day he found that his neighbor had committed suicide (it was pretty bad), and weird things started to happen some more. When he was home one day, the stereo randomly started playing some loud cryptic noises (come to find out that's why his neighbor killed herself, because she was able to hear the tape while he wasn't initially, it drove her crazy). He tried to get to the bottom of this and talked to some people, it seemed like he needed to accomplished some things before a certain day so that he would not be cursed (Killed). He did all he needed to be safe but when his time came he got into a car crash and the last thing he saw was the time on his car showing the date he was supposed to die.
So this is a vague summary of what I remember, it was a long time ago, I just remember the scene where his neighbor committed suicide and it was pretty insane. I thought the movie had number in the title but I've looked everywhere and still have not come across anything that matched what I just summarized.
Anyone else remember anything similar?
submitted by Emgz0632 to u/Emgz0632 [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:16 Xisas 30 [M4F] Nebraska/Midwest - Nerdy guy seeking nerdy girl

Here is my slightly updated copy pasta that I have posted before, still hoping to find someone! 🙏
I feel like online dating is the definition of insanity but here I am yet again trying to find someone or something. If the following sounds like a perfect day then we may be a perfect match!
We have the day to ourselves. There is a light thunderstorm outside. We crack the windows so we can hear the rain and thunder along with the fresh scent of rain flowing into our abode. We decide to cuddle up on the couch and cover ourselves with a fluffy blanket. In front of us is a TV which sits upon an entertainment center containing a (most likely) fake fireplace, but that doesn't bother us. Our dog decides to join us to keep us company as we snuggle and play video games or even watch a new movie or show, or perhaps we revisit one of our favorites. Both of us feeling as happy as we can be look at each other and say "there is no place I'd rather be than here with you" as we go in for a kiss our dog excitedly decides to jump on us and slobber us with kisses. We both laugh and start playing with our favorite doggo. Content and exhausted we curl up together and take an afternoon nap and dream of each others smiling faces.
Ahhh one can dream right? Here is a bit about me:
I'm a fairly nerdy guy... ok very nerdy guy! I love video games, anime, movies and music. Some games I'm currently playing are WoW (shadowlands waiting room), Ghost of Tsushima, Avengers. For anime I can get into just about anything but tend to go to shonen such as Naruto, DBZ, bleach and MHA. Movie wise I'm a HUGE star wars fan (mando season 2 hype!), marvel, harry potter (I'm gryffindor hbu?) and lord of the rings. Music is just all over the place, lots of rock, metal, occasional rap and hip hop. Lets see... personality wise I'm very sarcastic! I consider myself very kind, trusting, loyal, honest and a good listener. I have lots of love and support to give! I'm also 5'10''. I'm a very shy and quiet guy who is socially awkward BUT I do come out of my shell once I'm comfortable so give me time! Love dogs and the occasional cat. Traveling is fun and I would love to do more of it someday (damn covid).
Phew ok I'll end this here so I don't reveal all of my awesome sauce 😂 here are some pictures of myself. If you decide to contact me I'd appreciate a picture back! I prefer to know who I'm talking to!
https://imgur.com/a/g19HVQV
submitted by Xisas to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:15 Xisas 30 [M4F] Nebraska/Midwest - Nerdy guy seeking nerdy girl

Here is my slightly updated copy pasta that I have posted before, still hoping to find someone! 🙏
I feel like online dating is the definition of insanity but here I am yet again trying to find someone or something. If the following sounds like a perfect day then we may be a perfect match!
We have the day to ourselves. There is a light thunderstorm outside. We crack the windows so we can hear the rain and thunder along with the fresh scent of rain flowing into our abode. We decide to cuddle up on the couch and cover ourselves with a fluffy blanket. In front of us is a TV which sits upon an entertainment center containing a (most likely) fake fireplace, but that doesn't bother us. Our dog decides to join us to keep us company as we snuggle and play video games or even watch a new movie or show, or perhaps we revisit one of our favorites. Both of us feeling as happy as we can be look at each other and say "there is no place I'd rather be than here with you" as we go in for a kiss our dog excitedly decides to jump on us and slobber us with kisses. We both laugh and start playing with our favorite doggo. Content and exhausted we curl up together and take an afternoon nap and dream of each others smiling faces.
Ahhh one can dream right? Here is a bit about me:
I'm a fairly nerdy guy... ok very nerdy guy! I love video games, anime, movies and music. Some games I'm currently playing are WoW (shadowlands waiting room), Ghost of Tsushima, Avengers. For anime I can get into just about anything but tend to go to shonen such as Naruto, DBZ, bleach and MHA. Movie wise I'm a HUGE star wars fan (mando season 2 hype!), marvel, harry potter (I'm gryffindor hbu?) and lord of the rings. Music is just all over the place, lots of rock, metal, occasional rap and hip hop. Lets see... personality wise I'm very sarcastic! I consider myself very kind, trusting, loyal, honest and a good listener. I have lots of love and support to give! I'm also 5'10''. I'm a very shy and quiet guy who is socially awkward BUT I do come out of my shell once I'm comfortable so give me time! Love dogs and the occasional cat. Traveling is fun and I would love to do more of it someday (damn covid).
Phew ok I'll end this here so I don't reveal all of my awesome sauce 😂 here are some pictures of myself. If you decide to contact me I'd appreciate a picture back! I prefer to know who I'm talking to!
https://imgur.com/a/g19HVQV
submitted by Xisas to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:15 Xisas 30 [M4F] Nebraska/Midwest - Nerdy guy seeking nerdy girl

Here is my slightly updated copy pasta that I have posted before, still hoping to find someone! 🙏
I feel like online dating is the definition of insanity but here I am yet again trying to find someone or something. If the following sounds like a perfect day then we may be a perfect match!
We have the day to ourselves. There is a light thunderstorm outside. We crack the windows so we can hear the rain and thunder along with the fresh scent of rain flowing into our abode. We decide to cuddle up on the couch and cover ourselves with a fluffy blanket. In front of us is a TV which sits upon an entertainment center containing a (most likely) fake fireplace, but that doesn't bother us. Our dog decides to join us to keep us company as we snuggle and play video games or even watch a new movie or show, or perhaps we revisit one of our favorites. Both of us feeling as happy as we can be look at each other and say "there is no place I'd rather be than here with you" as we go in for a kiss our dog excitedly decides to jump on us and slobber us with kisses. We both laugh and start playing with our favorite doggo. Content and exhausted we curl up together and take an afternoon nap and dream of each others smiling faces.
Ahhh one can dream right? Here is a bit about me:
I'm a fairly nerdy guy... ok very nerdy guy! I love video games, anime, movies and music. Some games I'm currently playing are WoW (shadowlands waiting room), Ghost of Tsushima, Avengers. For anime I can get into just about anything but tend to go to shonen such as Naruto, DBZ, bleach and MHA. Movie wise I'm a HUGE star wars fan (mando season 2 hype!), marvel, harry potter (I'm gryffindor hbu?) and lord of the rings. Music is just all over the place, lots of rock, metal, occasional rap and hip hop. Lets see... personality wise I'm very sarcastic! I consider myself very kind, trusting, loyal, honest and a good listener. I have lots of love and support to give! I'm also 5'10''. I'm a very shy and quiet guy who is socially awkward BUT I do come out of my shell once I'm comfortable so give me time! Love dogs and the occasional cat. Traveling is fun and I would love to do more of it someday (damn covid).
Phew ok I'll end this here so I don't reveal all of my awesome sauce 😂 here are some pictures of myself. If you decide to contact me I'd appreciate a picture back! I prefer to know who I'm talking to!
https://imgur.com/a/g19HVQV
submitted by Xisas to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:14 Emgz0632 Need help trying to remember a movie (Suspense/Horror) 2001-2002ish

So I have been trying to look for this suspense horror movie that came out in 2001-2002ish. I vaguely remember it but it was about a guy who receives a package with a cassette tape, when he tries to listens to it on his stereo he cannot hear anything, strange things started to happen to him after that incident. One day when he went home, his neighbor (elderly lady) yelled at him to stop playing his stereo so loud, it was driving her nuts, he looks at her weird because the tape he was playing did not have any sound coming out. He attempts to listen to the cassette on his stereo each day with volume to the max but still no sound. One day he found that his neighbor had committed suicide (it was pretty bad), and weird things started to happen some more. When he was home one day, the stereo randomly started playing some loud cryptic noises (come to find out that's why his neighbor killed herself, because she was able to hear the tape while he wasn't initially, it drove her crazy). He tried to get to the bottom of this and talked to some people, it seemed like he needed to accomplished some things before a certain day so that he would not be cursed (Killed). He did all he needed to be safe but when his time came he got into a car crash and the last thing he saw was the time on his car showing the date he was supposed to die.
So this is a vague summary of what I remember, it was a long time ago, I just remember the scene where his neighbor committed suicide and it was pretty insane. I thought the movie had number in the title but I've looked everywhere and still have not come across anything that matched what I just summarized.
Anyone else remember anything similar?
submitted by Emgz0632 to u/Emgz0632 [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:11 JackTheStripperrr I fucking hate how I’m the one painted as the bad guy

She made a post about me on here and it got fairly popular. Thing is, I understand a lot of where she’s coming from. But to say that I used her and I never cared about her is utter bullshit. And for her to say that I will never have a future honestly makes me wanna kill myself. I’ve been working so hard to make a life for myself recently and not be a low life for the rest of my life. I want a family. I want kids. And I’ve been working hard to accomplish that. I admit I wasn’t for a long time and I can see her concern, but to say that I will never change or have a future makes me sad and angry. And I DO CARE ABOUT HER. I always have, for fuck sake. I will admit, I absolutely suck at showing it. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t. We just have two separate love languages and it’s difficult for me to express hers.
And I NEVER used her. I’ve never used her in the entirety of our relationship. I don’t even know where that came from.
The only thing that she’s right about is that I have treated her badly. I treat her like fucking shit at times. I have a horrible temper, and in the past couple of months I’ve been trying less because I reached a point where I felt like I couldn’t get her to see that I loved her. The irony is that she told me a couple weeks ago how she wants me to be sweeter to her like I used to be. While I do agree, is she forgetting how even when I used to be really sweet with her, she used to accuse me of not loving her and contemplating our relationship? But NOW you want me to be sweet again? That’s why I stopped trying and let my temper out more.
Regardless, I agree. I should still be nicer. I have a big temper. And we probably shouldn’t date right now. But it hurts my heart and simultaneously pisses me off that she would make a post about it and paint me as some kind of abusive prick that ruined her life. I still love her, and I admit I’m not perfect. I’m kind of a piece of shit at times, and a monster. I hate that about myself. But I’m extremely offended that she made me out to be some kind of heartless asshole and it got hundreds of upvotes. Like, thanks. You can be upset with me but you didn’t need to make a shitty post towards me making me out to be a douche. This all may be mostly my fault, and I have a lot of guilt. But we broke up because of her flaws too. Not just me. I love her, and I will continue to love her. I’m not giving up on her. But I’m getting sick of this shitty trend of, “YOU’RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE AND YOU DON’T LOVE ME” It’s getting old. I fucking do love her.
Honestly that post makes me want to just crawl up in a ball and isolate myself. I hate knowing that’s how she feels.
Honestly I’m not even mad at her specifically. I don’t want to start drama. I’m more hurt than anything about that post. I just wish that she would trust me when I say I love her. Even if I had a horrid temper. But then again, deep down I know I brought that on myself.....
submitted by JackTheStripperrr to BreakUps [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:08 Efficient-Term303 CMV: Trans Women should not always be treated as cis women

I am not proud of this view, and I fully understand that it's really contentious. But I've turned to all sort of articles, ect, and can't manage to convince myself otherwise. If any of you have a good argument, please send it my way.
Anyways, here are my reasons.
  1. Trans women athletes have unfair advantages over cis women, and should not compete in women's sports. Even after HRT trans women's bodies still formed with testosterone dominance. HRT does not change the bone structure or height of a person. Also most sports say you only need 2 years of HRT, which is not enough to even see the full effects. Some people argue that because some cis women are tall, with narrow hips, and sex isn't binary, then banning trans women would be banning them as well. This isn't a good enough reason. If a person was doping, they would be banned, even if some people who didn't dope were fastestronger than them. It doesn't matter how slow, weak, or small a trans woman is, because testosterone would still give her an unfair advantage and she would be worse without it. Fundamentally, sports are split into sex classes for fairer competition-- identifying out of your sex class would be life identifying out of your weight class in wrestling. Yes, some people are naturally more gifted at sports than others, but divisions aren't decided based off of hip size, hand size, ect, they're based on sex. A light weight could beat a heavy weight, if he had better technique and stronger muscles, but that doesn't mean that the heavy weight should be allowed to compete with the light weights. The same logic applies to sex segregated categories.
  2. Trans women who have been convicted of sexual or physical abuse of women/girls should not be allowed into female prisons. The conviction rate of violence against women is low enough that if you've been convicted, chances are you did it. It is fundamentally unfair to female prisoners to allow rapists and abusers to claim to be women to get into their prisons. I'm aware that not all trans women are out to rape people, but convicted sex offenders and wife beaters will do anything to reoffend. They're in prison already because they're anomalies. It has happened before and will happen again. Quick googling should show all the cases. Women in prison are vulnerable, and ultimately, once somebody has raped, they lose their ability for benefit of the doubt.
  3. Cis women should be allowed to have cis women only ceremonies and events. The experience of growing up in a female body that menstruates and grows breasts is different than that of growing up in a male body. I was raped as a child, and puberty was an incredibly difficult and fraught time for me. Allowing cis women to talk about child birth, periods, growing up sexualized and objectified by society, beauty standards, and adverse childhood experiences in a way that centers around womanhood is important for cis women to embrace their bodies and their realities. Being able to say, my experience as a child was colored by my female body is a radical and empowering statement, and giving cis women the space to honor the way their life has been rooted in societies response to their physical body lets cis women bond with each other and reach more understanding of their lives.
I absolutely believe that trans women should be called by their right pronouns, right names, allowed to transition, date, and dress how they want. I want to be loving and accepting of all. I just can't understand why the above statements aren't true, or why people demand that they are not. Please reddit, educate me, because I've tried to understand but I don't.
submitted by Efficient-Term303 to changemyview [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:07 thr00wm34w4y How do you date nowadays? Are online dating apps a good idea?

Now we are already in a cold season so how do you meet people safely? Let's say you matched with someone on Tinder or Bumble and then how can you two date? Virtual? Outdoor dining? Or what?
My folks are in their 60's, and they don't have a preexisting condition, but you'll never know.... I want to date safely. If we use virtual dates, how are they reliable? I mean you won't know if you like them until you meet them in person.
Is it a good idea to use online dating apps? My friends criticized those apps because of online stranger danger. They can lie about their identity and etc. My parents criticized those apps because they thought my brother and I don't need them because we are too good for them. My brother met his girlfriend anyway. My mom told me she heard Tinder is full of creepy and weird guys.
If I met my boyfriend on Bumble, I'd not feel comfortable to tell people how we meet because that'd make me sound like I was a desperate loser. Maybe I'll find a quality guy in person than Bumble, right? Unfortunately, I never had a boyfriend and nobody showed interest in me ever. I'm 29. I'd like to get married and children in few years.
submitted by thr00wm34w4y to dating [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:06 bajangela808 Minecraft Realms, Switching Gamemodes

While on a realm with friends I switched my gamemode to creative to stack my arrows (we were having a friends war and I am a dirty cheater), was just curious, does he see this in chat? It shows for me, but I didn't know if it showed for him. This was answered in a post 4 years ago, wanted to see if it was up to date.
submitted by bajangela808 to Minecraft [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:03 idunnoconfused Was I (25F) manipulated and abused by ex (26M) , or was it my fault?

Ex and I started dating a year ago while we were roomies. He swept me off my feet, was the first guy I dated who actually seemed so pure, caring and not a player. He'd say "I'm scared you'll leave me one day, please stay with me", he was always so sweet and planned his entire life around me/things I like. By month 4, Covid happened and I experienced bad anxiety. Also I hadn't slept with him all the way yet because I had been sexually harassed before and was still having nightmares (he didn't know, I kept telling him I need more time). He started to say he's having a hard time seeing me as a woman. He broke up saying I'm too untrusting and value my health more than the relationship (after I got visibly anxious when he sneezed to my face by mistake), said I made him realize his ex was the one, he was terrible to her and she was so nice to him while I'm so cold. He drove hours to ask her back, got rejected and came back home. While we were broken up I worked on overcoming my trauma.
After a month, I confessed to him about the harassment, how I became more untrusting of people after that and tried to put myself first. I thanked him for helping me see I should be more vulnerable in relationships. He asked to get back together, we started to have sex and things were good for a month. Some positions triggered me and I'd ask to stop, and his mood would be bad after that. Also my anxiety was getting worse and I'd ask him stuff like if he washed hands. During this time my hand got injured badly and he said it's too much stress to have to cook for me while he's already in a bad mood, staying home and not meeting friends to prevent my anxiety. I'd apologize for hours and he'd say "Ok, but i'm not sure how we can have sex again cuz I turned off my feelings". Then I'd do things like wake him up with a BJ, and he'd go back to super happy mood and thank me.
I eventually decided to move out since other roomies made me too covid anxious. I told bf I won't meet anyone or even go grocery shopping for a year. He said he's totally ok with that as long as we're together, he'll be happy. So we moved to a 2B apt and I started therapy. He broke up in 2 days after I snapped at him for not washing hands before eating and had a panic attack, crying for 15 min about what if we got covid. After break up I cried and apologized, while he was yelling at me saying I'm a nightmare, he hates me, he regrets moving with me and will forget I ever existed. Days later, I went to his room and told him I'll try harder to control my anxiety, promised him I'm more relaxed about covid and sex. We slept together, and same things started repeating every week.
Every weekend he either broke up cuz my anxiety didn't improve enough, or that I said no to sex too much recently, or small things like I attended a virtual bday until 1am instead of going to bed at 12 with him (he wanted us to have a healthy schedule). I'd cry and beg for hours as he told me to fuck off, yelling that he wants a normal gf and I'm too crazy/anxious/untrusting/sensitive/shy about sex/controlling/hesitant/negative/in my own world. Since I wouldn't stop crying or leave his room, he'd punch walls and throw stuff around. My therapist said this is verbal abuse, and there is a high chance he's a narcissist or has BPD though she can't officially diagnose. But I felt like I was abusing him by not leaving his room and deserved to get yelled at, by always asking for a chance again but failing to keep my promise of being more relaxed. He said I was the one making him angry so he didn't have any regrets saying mean things, that he felt sorry for hurting me, but he'd reiterate he doesn't think he is to blame since I drove him crazy, and he is more patient than anyone else would have been in his situation of unimaginable stress.
I'd force myself to overcome anxiety faster by going out in public after break ups, and blame myself for not having had sex with him enough while he was sweet to me. I'd beg him back, have sex, and he'd be sweet again. But later therapist and friends would tell me he's using me for sex, making my anxiety worse, that he doesn't care about me, not to trust him acting sweet and secretly make a plan to break up. So even if I was initially happy we got back together, I'd start to feel shame for having slept with him hours after he told me terrible things. I'd question whether therapist is right and lose my desire for sex with him, but try to trust him again since he'd be sweet again. Then he'd break up again saying I'm too confusing, that I'm nice to him and have sex when he's mean, and I don't do it when he gets back together. I'd apologize again since I felt I backstabbed him by telling others about our fights and being effected.
Slowly anxiety improved, I even invited his friend over for his bday. But I'd still get slightly anxious and need reassurance if he wanted to go to a crowded hiking spot. The last time we got back together, I told him I need time before having sex, because I feel sad when I sleep with him right after a breakup, and want to feel secure in the relationship before we do it. We didn't do it for a couple weeks, though each weekend he said "Idk when my patience will run out. I may change my mind and break up soon if you still aren't relaxed, it may even be within 5 minutes. Don't blame me later." So I'd feel lots of pressure and my libido would disappear completely, and I'd try to focus on his sweetness again. Just when I trusted him again and felt ready, he broke up because he thought I was being anxious when I wasn't. He called me a liar, that I'll never sleep with him and he trusts himself. He said I should blame myself for losing his trust. After I swore I had been ready to do it, he came back but therapist kept asking if I really trust him. After 2 days, he said he doesn't think I can ever have relaxed sex like other girls even if he treats me well, and I got visibly angry for the first time in my life (I slapped the table and yelled "Enough!", immediately followed by crying and an apology). He said he's happy I showed my true colors, immediately packed his suitcase and left. He texted me saying he gave me many chances but I failed, he's down to be friends and he hopes I will have a happy life after I overcome my anxiety. He said he'll pay 1 more month of rent and suggested I invite a friend to stay with me for a few days, which I did. He contacted many housing listings for me.
With my friend, I started going to the beach, meeting more friends, eating at restaurants. Ex was being friendly and reacting to all my IG stories. When I asked him back, he said he doesn't trust my anxiety is really gone, to wait 1 year for his bad memories to go away, and that he'll block if I ever talk about the relationship. So I told him I'll focus on improving myself and hope I can be a good friend later. 2 weeks later I hosted a very small party for the bday of friend staying with me.
My ex replied to my friend's IG story with how it's ironic I invite his friends over after he left this prison, how he was tortured by my inconsistent psychological status and that he hates me. Ofc my friend got heated and told him he was verbally abusive and my anxiety got worse because he failed to control his anger. Later, he bombarded me with texts and phone calls saying my friend attacked him, that I'm two faced for apologizing to his face and making him look ugly to my friends, and I should apologize well if I wanna stay friends. He asked what else I'm hiding. He said he was being nice paying extra rent, and I should've told him I'll have a friend staying with me, that I'll host a party. He said his pain must've been a joke to me that my anxiety is gone only after the break up. He asked me if I really tried my best in this relationship because he doesn't know my limit after seeing what I can accomplish without his support. He asked me to explain why I got angry during the last fight and said "Was that anxiety? If i go back, will it be another issue you have that makes me go crazy?" While texting I didn't blame him for anything, but also didn't apologize. It still gave me hope that he said "if i go back"... but I failed my answers and he stopped replying. I'm still blaming myself for everything, for making him confused because I was effected by the therapist, for not explaining it, and for not apologizing.
tl;dr: Bf was the sweetest guy on earth. After I got anxiety about Covid, he started yelling at me and breaking up weekly, while I begged. Therapist made me doubt him, which made him more angry. I don't know if he was abusive and blame myself for everything
submitted by idunnoconfused to relationships [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 05:00 DeSean_Adolf_Jackson Have the Stargate shows become dated or are they still worth getting into?

I've always been tempted to get into Stargate SG-1 but I'm concerned all this high production value sci-fi that's come out over the past years has sort of spoiled me. Same reason why I've never been able to get into the Original Star Trek or Babylon 5, despite wanting to.
So are the Stargate shows dated or do they still hold up?
submitted by DeSean_Adolf_Jackson to television [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 04:59 ThrowRAGoAwayPlzThX1 I'm getting frustrated because I [27 F] can't seem to interact with men without them developing feelings for me. It's getting to the point that I avoid talking to men at all because I am not attracted to them.

Note: I have a job that involves communicating with both men and women, and I have to be polite with both. At this point, I am more friendly with women and my superiors have noticed this. They questioned me if I was gay. I tend to feel more comfortable with women because the likelihood of them "flirting" back with me is not common at all. I consider myself asexual (I don't have any interest in dating or sex) but I think some individuals of both sexes are attractive and I do find myself flustered around people I find..."interesting".
I am having difficulty interacting with men. Especially my co-workers. While I consider myself a "feminine" woman, I don't tend to wear makeup or show feminine interests at work because it's a pain in the ass to be hit on men. While I'm at work, all I want to do is my job and then go home. However, I am forward about some "masculine" interests and that seems to attract men? I love horror movies and true crime, I have told people numerous times that I prefer to fix cars on my own if I can, I have a dark sense of humor...but there are other small things that seem to attract male attention. When I was younger, I was oblivious in other peoples' interest in me until someone else mentioned that they thought they liked me? "Oh, he looks at you whenever you aren't looking." "All he does is talk about you." Usually these are people that I feel comfortable talking to, but the moment someone says they like me, I start seeing the signs and then feel uncomfortable interacting them. I start avoiding them and then they seem confused about why I am being cold to them. Usually that works but there is a co-worker who is confusing me about how I should show that I am not interested in him.
I have had this job for two years now. He has been here a little bit longer. At first I worked in a different department. I didn't interact with him too often. However, I switched departments and now do a job that has me on the sales floor more often. I initially didn't like him when I was working in the other department because I thought he was obnoxiously flamboyant, but when I started my new job, I started to get to know him better. He's not as cheerful as I thought he was. I am not either. I started being open about how much I hate my job because I can't find a job in my field, but I never specified that I have a bachelors degree. He seems to have some depressive issues as well so I decided that it was okay to talk to him. I thought he was gay based on how he speaks and his mannerisms so I thought it was safe to be more "open" with him, but after a couple months, I am starting to notice that he might be interested in me and is trying to test the waters. He started using the word 'love' more often in his interactions with me. Specifically..."if you loved me, you would strangle me so I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore" referring to our jobs. He makes it sound like he is serious. It makes me uncomfortable because I know he is interested and is also trying to mess with my frustration with this workplace without knowing exactly WHY I hate this place. I was basically joking around when I said that I wouldn't do that because I don't care for him and don't want to go to prison for murdering him, but that seemed to encourage him. He constantly mentions "love" and how I could "save" him if I do certain things.
I don't know what to do. I want to avoid him because of both of our jobs, he is able to find me. I tried distancing myself from him but he questions what is wrong with me, what is going on in my life. He keeps pushing and it pisses me off but what is there to do in order to keep him from inquiring? I need this job for another year but I'm getting frustrated with multiple people, but he is the main person.
How do you let people know that you aren't interested in them romantically without causing issues? Thank you for reading, I appreciate any advice you can give me.
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2020.10.30 04:57 HomebrewSkeleton Help me understand if I’m overreacting

TW- rape, suicidal ideation, cnc, porn, fetishisation, child sexualisation, about everything I think rlly. Hear me out I (f18) and my boyfriend (m18) were watching evangelion rebuild with some friends. So long story short, the story’s main character are two kids that are 14. The male kid’s naked butt and the female kid’s entire naked body is shown in the show prominently and has no use to the cinema or to drive the plot line. I brought it up after the movie and said that the movie was promoting child sexualisation since there’s unnecessary child nudity, to that my boyfriend and our friends sort of brushed it off or said they didn’t care. Then, because I am a child rape survivor, I was kind of triggered and left. I was going through extreme suicidal ideation when my boyfriend texted me again and I tried explaining why I was mad and he called me a libtard and said I was getting too triggered. Then when I told him I was triggered cause it’s personal he apologised for calling me a libtard but said nothing was wrong with the scene since him and his friends didn’t get hard from it and if I saw it as a problem I was the problem. He then also tried blaming me by saying I don’t check the age on the hentai or cnc content I watch. But my point is, that’s porn. You can put two grown adults in any fictional situation if its consensual and it can’t be compared to the sexualisation of children. He said he refuses to change his stance. I am truly lost. I don’t know if I am being too much for acting out and making a mountain out of a mole hill. Edit to add: we’ve been dating for almost two years now.
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